It is so very true, I love it when people ask if I could be a child again, would I? It's like, "NO you retard, I would not..." I'm much happier being a smart alcohol loving adult! ^.^
Yessss. No "I remember you had a hard time", no "don't worry, things get better", no gratuituous paternalism. Just a punch in the face of that stupid kiddo who totally deserved it. While you're at it, would you mind sending a copy to my teen-me? With my worst wishes.
Although, I did try to write a bit more advise for my past self, which I kinda figure worked, since I'm still alive and not a drug addict now. Haha.
DONT BE SOFT WITH THESE MOTHAFUCKAS, JUST THROW THEM IN A BIN SOMEWHERE.
I don't even need to look at the other entries to know yours is the best.